10 things to do after a break-up

Going through a breakup is never easy especially if things ended on a sour note. After my breakups I tend to do many stupid things that I sometimes wish never happened but it's all part of the process. One thing that I've learned is to not be hard on yourself, and that it's okay to be sad or angry. Trust me, you'll go through many emotional phases but keep in mind that it will all pass! Here are some of the things that helped me move on and move forward with my life after a messy breakup.

1. Cut all contact

I'm guilty myself of contacting time after time my ex, and still having that hope that I would find the person I fell in love with... However, that person you once fell in love with has moved on and isn't there anymore. As much as it hurts, it's better to completely block them from your life. Literally block them from Instagram, Facebook, Twitter any type of social media platform. You need to focus on yourself, because you need to take care of your well being emotionally, mentally, and physically.  

2. Make lists 

Making lists has become my form of organizing my thoughts. It's very hard to think clearly when you are dwelling over a messy breakup. Writing down my goals, and putting down on paper the things I want to accomplish has helped me to visualize all of my potential. It will help you realize that there is so much more out there in this world than to be dwelling on the past.

3. Workout 

 After going through a horrible breakup I had a lot of negative energy in me, and my way to escape all of those ugly thoughts has been to work out. Turn your anger into healthy workout sessions. In the first stages of a breakup I feel like you find yourself either bored or sad because you don't know how to fill out your weekends. Adding workouts to your week helps to clear your mind, and it creates a routine. On a side note, working out produces serotonin which is commonly known as the happy hormone! So get working!

4.Take a trip 

If you have the means to travel far away for a week or more just do it! The feeling of running away, and escaping a breakup is definitely needed by anyone. Even just a weekend getaway to some city nearby can be very liberating. Just visiting a place that has no connection to your ex is an amazing way to disconnect and move on from the past. Create new memories by yourself or with friends with a trip!

5. Go to a spa! 

Unwind at a spa or simply book a massage, it's all going to help you relax. Going through a breakup is very stressful, and makes us physically tense up.  If you don't want to splurge on a spa, just take a good long bath with a glass of wine or binge watch a show on Netflix.

6. Don't stay alone 

 I realized that after almost 4 years of being in a relationship I had isolated myself from my family, and friends. Reconnecting with those that actually matter in your life will help you move forward, and realize there are so many more people that care about you. I'm so thankful to have such an amazing support system with my family. Go out to the movies, get a coffee, and just talk; enjoy yourself! It's very important to plan your weekends to keep busy. 

7. Clean up! Out of sight, out of mind!

Put all of your ex's belongings or anything that reminds you of them in a box. I remember that everything in my room reminded me of my ex, and it got to a point that I wanted to redecorated! Obviously my family told me that I would be nuts to do that. I did put away some things, and it helped me to have it out of sight. You don't have to throw it away or burn it but just put in a box, and you can re look at those memories once you are completely over your relationship. 

8. Pamper yourself

Have weekly masks, do your nails, and get a cosmetic treatment of your choice. I love skincare, and now more than ever I've devoted my time to taking care of my face. Do whatever is at your comfort level but do something that makes you feel even more beautiful. A breakup can hit hard on our self esteem, and it's not shallow to want to look our best.

9. Feed your soul 

It's very important to ground yourself, and focus on your happiness. As someone of faith, I'm still working on reconnecting to my beliefs, and placing all of my worries in God's hands. Every human being has a spiritual side that needs to be filled, regardless of your faith you need to take care of your soul. Seek some spiritual guidance whether it's meditation, praying, or whatever makes your soul happy.

10. Shopping Therapy

Get something that you've been coveting for months, seriously buy that designer handbag! Work on building a shoe collection or start a collection of key jewelry pieces. Being singles saves you so much money because you don't spend on outings, or gifts for that other person... you have more money to splurge on yourself :)

Last but not least don't be hard on yourself, and simply take care of yourself. Don't jump into another relationship as that's not a solution. Heal, and work on yourself before dating.

- Nelly